Once upon a time….

Remember when we were children, when everything seemed bright and shiny, we got excited about the smallest of things, when we believed anything is possible. We believed in fairy tales, we believed all the roads lead to a “Happily Ever After”? But for most of us we haven’t found our “Happily Ever After” or even the life we presumed we would be living when we grew older. Truth is, there isn’t a “Happily Ever After” or even a fairy tale life, it’s all fantasy. Most of us get down on ourselves when our lives didn’t or hasn’t panned out like we dreamed of when we were younger. I can relate to what some women are going through right now, a quarter-life crises, pre-30 crises a feeling of when we hit 30 we are instantly old. Whatever you call it, its effecting us women and not in a good way. Most of us feel like we need to live up to everything we were expected to. We see our friends getting married, having children, and living out their adult lives like everyone expected them to when they have gotten older. Our parents (well some of them anyway) are all expecting us to get a full time job, move out and support ourselves, get married, have children, and live out our adult lives like we are supposed to. However, nowadays finding a full time job is a job in itself, to support oneself isn’t a piece of cake and some children (as adults) have even had to move back in with their parents!!, getting married is a want and not a need sure if that right person comes along I would love to have the marriage of a lifetime; however, marriage isn’t and shouldn’t become a first priority. You can’t force love, love happens naturally. The same goes for having children, when one feels like the time is right, then go for it. But until then having children shouldn’t be a first priority either. That’s the reality we live in, the reality and not the fantasy life that some of us dreamed or even was lead to believe that would happen as we got older. No woman should ever fear the number 30 again, we should all be embracing 30 as we are supposed to be our more confident selves. As women (and men) we should all have faith that everything will fall into place as it was meant to be, not the way we wanted it to, or how we fantasised that it would happen, or even as our peers expected us to be in X amount of years from now. Everyone’s lives are different, so there is no need to compare our lives with those of another. The importance of living is, living thoroughly and living life and not worrying about what the future will or won’t bring.

I say this because it hasn’t been a walk in the park for me as well. I say this out of love and to show others that they are not alone. I must admit that I have done things out of fear of dying alone and that I will never be able live out my adult life that I would like. Its not easy and I won’t sugarcoat anything and talk like it is. For most women, turning 30 holds so much pressure and if you asked women that are around my age they would say that they don’t want to turn 30 because they feel like they haven’t accomplished anything that they presumed they would have accomplished at the age of 30. It’s okay to not have accomplished everything, we are only human and we will make mistakes along the way before we get to our final destinations. And always, always, always stay true to yourself! Never stop being yourself to please others. If you feel like you have to change yourself to fit in with a crowd, or please a boyfriend/spouse, or even a friend. Then they are not worth your friendship or relationship. True friends, will like you for you and you won’t ever have to feel like you have to change to please them.

Someone will always be prettier. Someone will always be smarter. Someone will always be younger. But They’ll never be YOU.

-Tanni Sattar

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It’s the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.
– Audrey Hepburn

Hello There.

Hello There I am Amanda Mothershed, I am writing a blog. I will be honest as a woman, I am always at war with my body. Body image hasn’t been my best feature. I am trying each and everyday to love myself just the way I am right here and right now. Now more and more women are trying so hard to fit in with┬ásociety’s definition of what beauty is. But the truth about beauty is, is beauty is more than just what is on the outside beauty is someone who can truly be themselves and will not accept anyone else’s definition of what beauty is. Beauty is being yourself. Beauty is someone that cares and is truly a genuine person inside and out. Beauty in fact is not a person, but a quality that someone possesses and takes pride in it when they walk down the street, they own the ground they walk on as if the world is their runway. No one is perfect. Everyone will have some kind of quirk that will make them unique, what makes them special, what makes them beautiful.

Now, don’t get me wrong I am not the most confident person on the planet and I won’t be the last. I am writing this blog to tell women that they are not alone,that I am just like them, that I’ve been down the same roads as well. Also, to tell them not to worry and that not everyone will like you but once you love yourself you don’t need anyone else’s approval and that the ones that will truly like you will like you for you, they will like you Just the way you are. Because like it or not, people will have a vain opinion of a person based on one’s weight, hair colour, what clothes a person wears, what kind of car they drive, what profession they are in, how much money they earn, and what interests them. But the good news is, no ones opinion of you is defines you, nor does your dress/pants size, or the numbers on the scale.

My favourite song right now is Katy Perry’s “Roar” because I remember her explaining what the song meant and she said something that hit home.

“Your biggest bully becomes yourself. Sometimes you gotta find that inner strength and stand up for yourself. That’s why I wrote it. To find my inner voice.”

I have always had trouble finding my inner voice, I let others opinion of me defined who I was. I wasn’t confident enough to believe in myself. I’ve even told myself that I wasn’t good enough that I was too fat, too ugly, too stupid, and wasn’t talented enough. Everyday is a struggle, especially when I go shopping not all shopping places make clothes that are friendly to everyone. Its as if it confirms that the idea of being a relatively larger woman makes you ugly, uncool, and not trendy and fashion forward; however, that is farthest from the case. Most of us women just want to feel beautiful, sexy, cool, and trendy and fashion forward whether they are big or small.

That is my two cents, now here is the song that I mentioned in the blog.